The Chocolate Factory Album was no longer an album. It had finally become what it always wanted to be: a factory that needed a worker.

The cover was a gatefold sleeve made of thick, dark brown cardboard that smelled faintly of cocoa. When you opened it, a tiny conveyor belt of paper truffles rolled past a pop-up vat of fondant. And if you pressed the center label of the vinyl just right, a warm, syrupy hum of melted chocolate basslines oozed out of the speakers.

But the album was cursed.