Happy “Not Fired” Anniversary, Dave! You’ve lasted eight years without a single complaint! I got you gluten-free.

Want me to write the next scene (Dave at the Chuckle Hut open mic night)?

(over alarm) That’s the “Kevin microwaved fish again” sprinkler system! EVERYONE OUT!

No. I’m becoming a professional improviser at the Chuckle Hut.

Enter KEVIN (22, chaotic, eating yogurt with a ruler). He waves. Yogurt flies.