This isn’t their fault. But it is your reality. The friend filter is brutal: it shows you who can sit in the darkness with you, and who needs you to turn the lights back on immediately. You won’t believe this one when you first become a widow. I didn't. But around month four or five, something terrible and wonderful happens.
Then week six arrives. The casseroles are gone. The texts are sporadic. The driveway is empty. widow whammy
But the insidious part? You don’t get to stay down. The undertaker’s assistant needs to know about the burial plot. The funeral home needs 12 copies of the death certificate. Your mother-in-law needs to know what flowers he would have wanted. This isn’t their fault
There’s a moment, somewhere between the last spoonful of lukewarm casserole and the first phone call to the life insurance company, where you realize you aren’t just sad. You won’t believe this one when you first become a widow
Until then, drink the water. Eat the cold pizza. Scream into the pillow. And remember: you are not losing your mind. You are just surviving a whammy that most people will never understand.
April 14, 2026